What’s a Woman?

Deborah Tannen suggest in her essay that there is no unmarked woman. Women cannot escape the judgments and classifications made on their sex. Although Tannen herself is not a feminist, I feel that many feminists share this frustration about the marked woman. I wanted to respond towards feminists and their relation to this particular topic.
I have no problem with the view that a woman’s role is in the home. I do not believe that this is an oppressive view. Women should have the freedom to vote and have the career that they choose, but it cannot be denied that a woman’s role traditionally is as mother, and women are naturally endowed with nurturing and comforting gifts. Women’s bodies are built for having children. Men can’t have children. That’s the woman’s job. Not all women are meant to be mothers, yet as women, they bear a collective responsibility and joy. There are obvious differences between men and women, both physically and emotionally. I find it silly that feminists try to deny this. Of course, as a woman, I think that women should be treated fairly, but I still understand that men and women are different. I think it’s far more offensive to say to women that they are exactly the same as men.
With that being said, I feel that a certain view of women has developed over the last few decades especially. So often today, women are viewed as packages—they are viewed solely by their appearances. Men can pick out their preferred prettily-colored boxes conveniently, just as they pick out a new car. As Tannen says in her essay, there is no existing hair style or footwear for a woman that is unmarked—that is free of attached assumptions and symbols. Ever heard a man say that he has “a thing for blondes?” At a glance, people make assumptions about women according to their hairstyles, makeup, and clothing. These objects have become chains for women, and the media and consumer market trains them to willingly submit. Will women ever be unmarked? I feel as though a lot of it has to with women who feel that they have to be different than other women, to be attractive or to find satisfaction. Perhaps this issue is born because women aren’t finding satisfaction in their roles in life whether that is as wife and mother or doctor or chef.